英语小故事90秒带翻译

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英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”

一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”

(6)Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

送给女友的礼物

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”

仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"

森林之火

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”

Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."

最好的奖赏

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

Napoleon Was Ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"

"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

拿破仑病了

杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

He Was Only Wrong by Two

Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."

Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.

At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"

The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."

The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."

他的得数只比正确答案多二

杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。

有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”

然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。

最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少?”

学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。”

院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”

Real Play

When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater‘s current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."

逼真的戏剧

我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道：“这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。”

A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

势均力敌

有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”

这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的放进了夹子。

令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪旁有一张画有老鼠的!

The old cat 老猫

An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

翻译：

一位老妇有一只猫。猫很老，她无法运行很快，她咬不了，因为年纪太大了。有一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，她跳起来，抓住了老鼠。但她咬不了它，因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫。猫说：“不要打你的老仆人。我已经为你工作了许多年，我仍然会为你工作，但我太老了。不要这么无情到老，但要记住有什么好工作的老在年青时所做过的。“

King Alfred and the Cakes阿烈夫国王和糕饼

King ALFRED O f England once led his army to fight with another army and was beaten. So he had to run away through the woods and swamps to save his life.

One evening he came to a woodcutter’s hut. He was very tired and hungry, so he begged the woodcutter’s wife to give him something to eat and a place to sleep in. He was ragged and dirty and she did not know that he was the king. She felt so sorry for him that she told him to come in and gave hem a seat near the fire.

She was baking some cakes. She said to King Alfred, “ I must go and milk the cow. Watch the cakes and do not let them burn. “ The king was willing to do this, but he kept thinking about his army and soon forgot all about the cakes. In a few minutes the woman came back and found the cakes burning. She was so angry that she struck the king with a stick and cried, “ You lazy fellow! You want to eat, but you do not want to work.”

参考译文：

英格兰国王阿尔弗雷德华氏一度率军打另一个军队和被殴打。于是，他只好贯穿树林和沼泽而去挽救他的生命。

一天晚上，他来到一个樵夫的小屋。他非常疲倦和饥饿，所以他恳求樵夫的妻子给他吃的东西和一个睡觉的地方。他是衣衫褴褛，肮脏，她不知道他是国王。她觉得他很抱歉，她叫他进来，让下摆近火席位。

她烤了一些蛋糕。她说，国王阿尔弗雷德，“我必须去和牛奶的奶牛。观看蛋糕，不要让他们燃烧。他说：“国王愿意这样做，只是一个劲地对他的军队思想很快所有关于蛋糕忘了。几分钟后该女子回来，发现蛋糕燃烧。她很生气，她用棍子袭击国王和哭了，“你懒家伙！你要吃饭，但你不想工作。

大自然是我们的母亲nature is our mother

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I`m so happy to stand here. My name is Li Qian,I`m from Gaoyu primary school.Today my topic is “nature is our mother”.

I think everyone here maybe have this experience ,when you are little girl ,you often ask your mother:

"Mom, I'm sorry, I need 100 yuan to have dinner with my friends."

"Mom, tomorrow is my friend`s birthday, I must buy her a present."

"Mom, this jacket was out of fashion, I need a new one. "

Take. Take. Take. We often get something from our mother.We know our mother is always there for me, providing us with everything we need; from food to clothing, from clothing to money. Do you think this question "Will there be a time that your mother say you have taken enough from her? "

Like the child endlessly asking, we humans, have been demanding what we need from nature. We enjoy the comfort and beauty of our furniture, but we never think about the question about soil. We think we must warm ourselves in winter times, but we hardly realize the burning away of natural resources. we have hurt our mother-earth. we can`t continue our carelessness.

Let`s start respecting and caring for nature from now on. Let`s start the campaign of creating a relationship between people and nature. With this new start, I believe that our children, and our children's children will live in a clean air, clean water, blue sky and an even more beautiful world!

My speech is over , thank you!

参考译文：

早上好，女士们，先生们，我太高兴能站在这里。我的名字是李干，我来自高宇小学school.Today我演讲的题目是M“的本质是我们的母亲。”

我想在座的各位也许有这样的经历，当你的小女孩，你经常会问你的妈妈：

“妈妈，对不起，我需要100元和我的朋友一起吃饭。”

“妈妈，明天是我的朋友'的生日，我要给她买份礼物。”

“妈妈，这件衣服过时了，我需要一个新的。”

服用。服用。服用。我们经常得到的东西从我们mother.We知道我们的母亲一直守候在那里，我们提供的一切，我们需要从食物到衣服，从衣服的钱。你认为这个问题“将会有一个时间，你妈妈说你已经从她够吗？”

像孩子无止境的要求一样，我们人类，一直要求我们从自然的需要。我们享受的舒适和家具的美丽，但我们从来没有想过关于土壤的问题的看法。我们认为，我们必须在冬天温暖自己，但我们很难实现这样被烧掉的自然资源。我们曾经伤害过我们的母亲地球。我们可以继续我们的疏忽`吨。

让我们先开始吧，从现在尊重，关爱自然。我们快开始了创建人与自然之间关系的运动。有了这个新的开始，我相信我们的孩子，我们孩子的孩子将生活在一个干净的空气，干净的水，蓝色的天空，一个更美好的世界！

我的讲话完了，谢谢！

Drawing a snake and Adding Feet

画蛇添足

In the Warring States Period, a man in the State of Chu was offering a sacrifice to his ancestors. After the ceremony, the man gave a beaker of wine to his servants. The servants thought that there was not enough wine for all them, and decided to each draw a picture of a snake; the one who finished the picture first would get the wine. One of them drew very rapidly. Seeing that the others were still busy drawing, he added feet to the snake. At this moment another man finished, snatched the beaker and drank the wine, saying, 'A snake doesn't have feet. How can you add feet to a snake? '

战国时代有个楚国人祭他的祖先。仪式结束后，他拿出一壶酒赏给手下的几个人。大家商量说：“我们都来画蛇，谁先画好谁就喝这壶酒。”其中有一个人先画好了。但他看到同伴还没有画完，就又给蛇添上了脚。这时，另一个人也画好了，夺过酒壶吧酒喝了，并且说：“蛇本来是没有脚的，你怎么能给它添上脚呢？”

老鼠和公牛(a mouse and a bull)

A mouse once took a bite out of a bull's tail as he lay dozing. The bull jumped up in a rage and, with his head low to the ground, chased the mouse right across the yard. The mouse was too quick for him, however, and slipped easily into a hole in the wall.

The bull charged the wall furiously again and again, but although he bruised his head and chipped his horns, the mouse stayed safely inside his hole. After a time the bull gave up and sank down to rest again.

As soon as the bull was asleep, the little mouse crept to the mouth of the hole, pattered across the yard, bit the bull again -- this time on the nose -- and rushed back to safety. As the bull roared helplessly the mouse squeaked:

"It's not always the big people who come off best. Sometimes the small ones win, you know."

老鼠和公牛

有一次，公牛躺着打盹，一只老鼠咬了他的尾巴。公牛怒气冲冲地跳起来，低着头追老鼠，一直追过院子。然而，老鼠跑得比他快多了，从容地钻到墙洞里去了。

公牛一次又一次地猛撞墙壁，尽管头撞肿了，角撞裂了，老鼠却安然待在洞里。过了一会儿，公牛不撞了，倒下歇着。

公牛刚睡着，小老鼠就爬到洞口，嗒嗒地跑过院子，又咬了公牛一口 ? 这回咬了鼻子 ? 又跑回安全的地方去。当公牛毫无办法地吼叫时，老鼠吱吱叫道：

"大人物并不总占上风。有时小人物也会取胜。"

男孩和荨麻(a boy and a nettle)

A boy was playing in the fields when he was stung by a nettle . He ran home to

tell his mother what had happened.

"I only touched it lightly," he said, "and the nasty thing stung me."

"It stung you because you only touched it lightly," his mother told him." Next time you touch a nettle grasp it as tightly as you can. Then it won't sting you at all."

Face danger boldly.

男孩和荨麻

有个男孩子在地里玩耍，被荨麻刺痛了。他跑回家去，告诉妈妈出了什么事。

"我不过轻轻地碰了它一下，"他说，"那讨厌的东西就把我刺痛了。"

"你只轻轻地碰了它一下，所以它才刺痛你，"妈妈对他说，"下一回你再碰到荨麻，就尽量紧紧地抓住它。那它就根本不会刺痛你了。"

要敢于面对危险。

鹦鹉和猫( a parrot and a cat)

A man once bought a brilliantly-coloured parrot. Instead of locking it up in a cage or chaining it to a perch, he allowed it to fly free all over the house. The parrot was delighted at this and flapped from room to room, shrieking and screaming with happiness. At last he settled on the edge of a rich curtain.

"Who on earth are you ?" said a cross voice from below. "Stop that terrible noise at once."

The parrot saw a cat staring up at him from the carpet.

"I 'm a parrot. I 've just arrived and I 'm to make as much noise as I can," he said.

"Well, I 've lived here all my life," replied the cat ."I was born in this very house and I learned from my mother that it is best to keep quiet here."

"Keep quiet then, "said the parrot cheerfully. "I don't know what you do around here, but I know my job. My master bought me for my voice and I'm going to make sure he hears it."

Different people are valued for different things.

鹦鹉和猫

从前，有人买了一只毛色鲜艳的鹦鹉。他没有把鹦鹉关在笼子里，也没有用链条把他拴在栖木上，而让他在家里自由自在地飞来飞去。鹦鹉对此非常高兴，扑动翅膀，从一间屋子飞到另一间屋子，愉快地尖声叫着，最后停在华丽的帷幔的边上。

"你到底是谁？"从下面传来怒气冲冲的说话声，"马上住嘴，别发出那难听的声音。"

鹦鹉看见地毯上有一只猫抬头看着他。

"我是鹦鹉。 我刚到，我要使劲地吵吵。"他说。 "那你就一声不响吧，"鹦鹉欢快地说，"我不知道你在这儿干什么，可我知道我的活儿。主人为了我的声音才买我，我一定得让他听到。"

不同的人因有不同的特点而受重视。

野猪和狐狸( A wild boar and a fox)

A wild boar was sharpening his tusks against a tree one day when a fox came by.

"What are you doing that for?" asked the fox . "There are no hunters around. Everything looks very peaceful to me ."

"Quite true, "said the boar, "but when the hunter does come with his dogs I shall be too busy running away to have time for this . So let me sharpen my tusks while I can."

Be prepared .

野猪和狐狸

有一天，野猪在树上磨牙齿，狐狸走过来。

"你为什么干这个呀？"狐狸问，"附近又没有猎人，我觉得平安无事。"

"不错，"野猪说，"但是，如果猎人真的带着猎狗来了，我只能逃走，就没工夫干这个了。趁我现在可以磨，就让我磨磨牙齿吧。"

时刻准备着（有备无患）

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